Accept July 26 2020

To receive(something offered) willingly // accept as a gift
To be able or designed to take hold(something applied or added) // a surface that will not accept ink
To give admittance or approval // an idea that is widely accepted
To recognize as true : Believe
While I am no Bible scholar, I know enough of the promises and truths found in there to respond in Christianese (the church jargon that can sometimes seem weird and off putting to some). I can pray-up and speak into my family, friends and even strangers. Praying and speaking hope, encouragement, comfort and peace, all based on the promises of God and who God says they are. I've been a mentor both professionally and personally. And with my entire being, I believe all of what I say and pray.
Why do I struggle to accept those very things for myself? Why do I struggle with thinking
"I'm not good enough", "I'm not pretty enough",
not feeling
"I belong", or "I fit in", 
"I don't make enough money"
or that I am
"floundering as a mother"?
Honestly this list could go on, but I think I have been transparent enough that you can get the picture. For some reason I exclude myself from the equation of truths and promises. As if, God has promised things to everyone else except me.
To take or leave out from a number or a whole: EXCLUDE 
To take exception: Object
Knowing something doesn't mean you accept it for yourself. I am realizing accepting is so simple that I have made it seem hard. Somehow I have made myself subconsciously believe I have to do some kind of work, or be on a level of perfection to be worthy of accepting God's gifts and truths for myself. But this is so far from the truth! God's gifts are just that, things He has chosen to give freely, and are simply something I am to accept. 
I've been seeing a counselor(mental health is wealth; get you one!). She gave me a really good example that articulated this idea of accepting God's gifts for myself. The example gave me pause; it made me feel silly. She gave the example of a royal family. She asked me, "if a King has a son, who will be the next King?". My response was the obvious, duh, "the son". She then asked, "what does the son have to do to become the King?". I responded, "nothing to my knowledge, he will become the king because he is the King's first born son".  And just like that a light bulb went off before she began her next sentence. She went on to say, "Cassandra, God's gifts, His promises, are there for you to accept just as the son simply accepts and steps into his role as king. He can't do anything more to make him worthy of being the king". 
How crazy is that, there are just some things that are.
So here I am accepting...
I, Cassandra, am KNOWN and CHOSEN to exist at this time in history:
"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee..."Jeremiah 1:5
"For thou hast possessed my reins; thou has covered in my mothers womb." Psalm 139:13
I, Cassandra, am valuable and precious:
"...for her price is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:1
I, Cassandra, am powerful and equipped:
"For God hath not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7
I, Cassandra, am forgiven:
"There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit." Romans 8:1
My prayer:
Forgive me, Father, my God, for not accepting your gifts to me. But thank you for being so patient with me and continually loving me so graciously, drawing me to where you always want me, right with you. My heart is yours. There truly is nothing like you. I am so grateful for how you are gently and kindly showing me this truth. -Amen
It is my hope, that if you struggle with accepting too, that you be encouraged in  knowing that sometimes the power is in accepting what is:-)